BPDW.COM

Did you ever hear of me screwing?
No, I spend my money like a man.
- William Makepeace Thackeray, “The Newcomes“

Me, I’m a pimp / I ain’t payin’ for no sex
Man, I’d rather buy a car / Or a new Rolex
- Li’l Flip, “Like a Pimp“

Share

Consider me down with any scene where the alpha males begin their snappy rejoinders with "To be quite frank…"  And I have to note that for all the terror rained down by these witches, the Diag still looks quite tranquil.

Share

The Less Bad: "If my bra is a threat to national security, we’re in big trouble."

The More Bad: Photographers advised to pack a gun to avoid losing their gear bag.

The Awesome: Penn vs. the TSA.  "…freedom is kind of a hobby with me, and I have disposable income that I’ll spend to find out how to get people more of it."

Share

This is one of the better DDR tournament videos I have had the opportunity to enjoy.  Things I like about it:

• Dude wears a costume complete with white mask.
• Dude cocks a Nintendo Zapper at the beginning of his routine.
• Dude c-walks on the arrows, thereby risking his life should he ever DDR in certain neighborhoods.
• Dude busts out a galloping windmill butt-slap near the end of his routine.

It’s hard to tell from the verbal cues the game gives him how well he’s hitting the arrows, but I give this clip an A for Entertainment.

Share

JWZ wins.

Share

Happened upon this while looking for airports near Miami.  Supposedly named for a lake nearby shaped like same.

Share

[My darling bride asked me to write an essay for a contest sponsored by a cleaning-products manufacturer. Grand prize: Free maid service for a year. This was an early draft of my entry, about fifty words over the limit. I cut out the alien attack paragraph before subitting.]

We appreciate the offer, but I assure you we don’t need help. Perhaps we don’t keep the tidiest house, but I can find everything, and provide any specific item within seven hours. And they never found our neighbors’ dog, so it cannot be proven that it disappeared into the grass in our backyard. Please, no more speculation.

Would it be nice after a hard day of fixing computers for [demanding] librarians to settle down for a spaghetti dinner in a sparkling kitchen? Maybe, but I love when a meatball rolls off the table. When retrieved, it may bring along a reminder of the spicy curry we had last Thursday. Mmm, curry.

Living rooms are for entertaining, sure, but who has time to entertain? We’re busy living LIFE. Parks, supermarkets, alleyways — anywhere but home. Incidentally, the suggestions that our dustbunnies inspired “Watership Down” are just preposterous.

Hey, I just defended our neighborhood from an alien attack.  Would a maid-service candidate have time for that? [Yes, it's true that a giant robot helped, built by some Japanese cartoon kids out of so-called "junk" from my garage.]

If you absolutely cannot find anyone who needs this more than we do, then of course we would accept. It might even “enrich our lives dramatically,” if you judge quality of life on those terms. Seriously, though, don’t worry about us. Sorry, gotta go! Local Civil-War-buff silverfish are reenacting Antietam in our laundry room.

Share

When two of the writers from the WWF were hired my lobbying ceased to be heard. Out with the old in with the "Viagra On A Pole" matches.

Bob Mould wrote "If I Can’t Change Your Mind," the theme to "The Daily Show," and a couple of years of WCW storylines.  I hope he writes at length about it someday.  [Thanks to Brian for the link to Mould's blog.]

Share

 
The Associated Press: After Fight, Airport Embraces SUX Code

This really should be Atlanta’s airport code, amirite?  No disrespect intended to the ATL, but that fishbone-shaped airport is like the parallel circles of hell.

Share

For a few more days, you can see my mug over on the StudentNation page at thenation.com. After that, you can still see it on flickr, or right here in the header.

I’m not sure why they picked me exactly, I’m guessing it’s for the book I was holding. Either that or they really like fluorescent lighting, over there at The Nation.

Many more attractive library staff than I are featured with more classical examples of banned and challenged books. Most of the “good ones” were already taken by the time I got in on the project. In fact, another librarian is seen in the series with the very same copy of the Anarchist’s Cookbook, on a table, as if to say “I will begin smashing this bigoted power structure right after I finish ‘Song of Solomon.’”

I halfway thought about posing with a copy of Howard Stern’s autobiography, featured on the ALA list, but I gave my copy away years ago and wasn’t sure I even wanted to be seen with a naked portrait of the King of All Media. Then I discovered that we keep a copy of the Cookbook tucked away on the seventh floor of the Hatcher. So I dashed upstairs and got the presiding Special Collections librarian to snap the photo.

The page I am reading was some kind of recipe for homemade soup. It’s not just a title, there are actual cooking recipes in the Anarchist’s Cookbook, which intrigues me. I probably know most of the homemade weapons instructions already from the Internet anyway.

Share