Now that you’ve kicked the carbs, we need you to
you took this scheme up for. In a couple of months, we’ll have you cut out
the last couple of food groups, and you’ll really start to drop the
weight!
The Atkins people say “eat less meat.”
January 19th, 2004 § 0
AlcoHalloween Reviews: SPARKS
October 31st, 2003 § 0
Sparks’ label describes it as:
“premium malt beverage with caffeine-citric acid blend, taurine,
guarana-siberian ginseng blend, natural and artificial
unit,
certified color and fd&c yellow number 5.” It’s also worth noting that
the second-largest font on the 16-oz. can, behind the brandname, is the
magic number “6.0%”.
Tastewise, Sparks is very similar to Red Bull, Whoop Ass, and any number of
similar taurine-based energy drinks, but it attempts to pull off the rare
feat of picking you up and bringing you down at the same time. So far I
definitely feel both a little more energetic and a little intoxicated,
but I fear it will take further investigation to say for sure.
I can say
right now, though, that this is the closest I have come, through a
store-bought carbonated
drink, to reproducing the taste and the sensation of the Red Bull martini
served by the
Room in Chicago [and no doubt many other bars]. How was that? I
drank one and it sent me on an an evening of debauchery with my [fairly
new at the time] girlfriend that left lasting scars. Said scars take the
form of an embroidered souvenir sweatshirt from
know I paid good money for but will never wear. Huh? Drink is out of
business? RARE COLLECTIVE DRINK SWEATSHIRT LQQK
Burger Chef & Jeff Meals.
September 14th, 2003 § 0
Today my parents held a dinner commemorating the life and recent passing of my grandmother. I held it together just fine then. It took seeing all the late-70s-vintage Burger Chef Funmeal crap on this page — Burger Chef was the preferred restaurant for fast-food meals with Nana and Pop — to get me all misty-eyed.
Slate rates the Fast-Food Greats’ Salad Plates
August 6th, 2003 § 0
They give the blue ribbon to Wendy’s, but McDonald’s is nipping close behind.
X-Ent takes on the McGriddles
July 4th, 2003 § 0
I had one myself a couple of weeks ago. It’s basically a sausage biscuit with the biscuit replaced by two “hotcakes.” Well, not just hotcakes – thick custom holdin’ hotcakes.
Anyway, I don’t know if this is the case everywhere, but here they are running ads with a guy eating one and his friend saying “that’s BIZARRE.” And the tagline is something like “it’s bizarre, but a good kind of bizarre.” And I have to think to myself, how would McDonald’s know anything about bizarre?
Wait, maybe they do. When these videos were released, Victor once commented that the Ronald looks somewhat sickly.
All about Sanders.
May 16th, 2003 § 0
Sanders ice cream shops used to be all over the Detroit area. Ice cream
sundaes, shades of green, and I’m pretty sure a diner-style counter are
about all I specifically remember of the shops [they all closed in the
mid-80s], but Sanders ice cream and Devil’s Food Buttercream Layer Cakes
[popularly known as “bumpy cakes” because the buttercream frosting was
waved on top of the cake like the rumble strips on the side of a road]
were a fixture of our young birthdays.
Sanders is apparently a division of Morley Candy now [another Detroit
thing], and Crain’s Detroit Business
that they are trying to take it national. They’ve been
topping, etc. out to Michigan expatriates for a little while now, but
apparently you will actually be able to walk into a store in Phoenix and
get this stuff now — which I never realized, as a very young Sanders
consumer, you couldn’t do.
Melody Farms [yet another Detroit thing]
makes Sanders ice
cream now. Although I greatly enjoyed the Bumpy Cake ice cream [it
contains chunks of Devil’s Food cake and the ice cream tastes just like
the buttercream icing] when I first tried it about a year ago, I want to
know when the
ice cream is coming back. Yeah,
thing, and yeah, Sanders made an ice cream that tasted like Vernors.
Right now the only place you can get it anymore is at Britain’s 31 Weirdest
Flavors Ice Cream Parlor, on Klickitat Street, in Heaven, scooped by
Jesus or his authorized agent Dean Smoller. You can also get the
Friendly’s Hawaiian Punch Sherbet there. I can only find
other person on the ‘net who knows what I’m talking about. Danielle,
I will make sure Jesus or Dean restocks the Peanut Butter Cups.
The Matrix is telling me this is fruity and thirst-quenching.
May 15th, 2003 § 0
So I finally got around to trying the
is to ad site - official PowerAde site has no information about this
flavor at all]. It’s
green and comes in a concave bottle, shaped much like an hourglass, with
a green wrap with the green glyphs all over it.
The label doesn’t list a flavor per se [it just has the PowerAde logo and
“The Matrix Reloaded,” whereas the other flavors all have cutesy names
like “Mountain Blast”], but below the Nutrition Facts box it lists
“natural black cherry, lime, and anise flavors.” I think the lime is
first and foremost. There is definitely a subtle cherry note. So
basically, it tastes like all the other PowerAdes, and also that Anise
chick sounds kinda hot.
Letters to Wendy’s
May 12th, 2003 § 0
Joe Wenderroth sat in his local Wendy’s drinking coffee day after day, and
wrote a book of poetry, or a novel if it makes you feel better, entirely on
their comment cards. I like to imagine him actually sending the cards,
but I guess he didn’t, or else we wouldn’t have a published book of them.
[NOTE: Tangentially related to food if you ask me, but I need to build
up the category.]
- Excerpt. [extra salty language]
- A couple more. [sodium-free language]
- The most
entertaining of several discussions with the author I found on
google. [some salt] - An NYC
Reading in mp3 or RealAMRadio. [salty] - A concerned, utterly lost grandfather who probably won’t take his business to Wendy’s anymore. [Mrs. Dash - salt-free flavor substitute]
You are overpaying for these cookies.
May 7th, 2003 § 0
CoffeeBargains.com offers you a
savings per bag on these Basil’s
Bavarian Bakery [a division of
Biscomerica Corp.
— I kid you not] Chocolate Chip Cappuccino Cookies.
Here on campus we
pay 90 cents. Then the bag gets stuck and a week later we get a refund
by campus mail. This happens all the time.
If you really want to save some dough [har har], you can find them at
for 75c/bag or 55c/bag if you buy by the case.
McDonald’s wants to sell Boston Market?
March 27th, 2003 § 0
on’t have franchises so I can’t vouch for. I had two initial reactions:
- Gilbert finally gets his payback
- Good job, guys, sell the chain with the best customer service.
I have to wonder why McD’s has never done the “Pizza Bell” thing and
built any larger stores with these other brands getting some
counterspace. Are they afraid of the Golden Arches being diluted as a
brand, or shown up? I don’t look forward to McDonald’s the way I did
when I was a kid. I think this turnabout dovetails nicely with when I
ceased to be impressed with the happy meal toys. The only thing that
would get me back into Happy Meals is if they brought back the Star Trek
ones from 1978 or whenever that first movie came out. I remember a tiny
board game, some kind of walkie-talkie-shaped “communicator” that showed
a comic-strip-type story, and, uh… that’s all I remember. It would
also be neat if they brought back the little cardboard boxes with the “M”
handle on top, but the plain ol’ paper sacks are so much cheaper, and the
target audience could probably care less.
