Monthly Archive for July, 2005

True(?) Tales of Tragic Tippers

Celebrity stories on BitterWaitress’ database of bad tippers. Warning, crude language.

I found this link through Kottke.org, and like him, I find the entries above 15% a little disturbing. And while we’re on the subject, how come half the restaurants I go to are refusing to separate checks now? They did it for all my natural life with no kvetching, and now it’s “well, now, we really don’t like to do those.” And I’m talking, like, a group of four people. In Japan I could pay the damn bill with my mobile phone, and here I can’t even get my own check half the time any more. If the restaurant industry is trying to push people toward take out, that’s one way of doing it.

A Visit to Adobe

In the WCOM days I had more cubicle flair than all the engineers who work on Photoshop put together. Marc Pawliger gets bonus points for high Disney density.

The wife and I have been playing Lego Star Wars: The Videogame, which has brought back some fond memories.
New Year’s Eve 1999 in a mall in White Plains, biding our time until we were called upon to serve our company as Backup Network Attack Force in case the Y2K prophecies came true and Detroit Edison’s power grid failed. So a small group of the most single and aloof were ordered “invited” to spend the night in a secured facility across the street from MasterCard headquarters. Anyway, we went to the West Chester mall or something and wound up at FAO Schwarz. This was right around the time Empire Strikes Back Lego toys began to hit and we were checking them out. My eyes scanned the rack to rest upon the Slave 1 set. I pointed it to Chris and at the same time we both lit up. “No way! LEGO BOBA FETT!”

I would not own the Slave 1 that day, or any day. I would later buy Boba in a set of figures from the Lego store in Walt Disney World Village. He, Han, and Luke would keep watch atop my 20″ Suns until I packed the whole house of fun up that fateful Axe Wednesday. But I digress.
The Adobe folks have great cubes and Lego Star Wars: The Video Game is much fun, if a bit easy for seasoned gamers. Boba Fett is there in young form, as is his daddy Jango Fett, the two-fisted, jetpack-crackin’ template for the Storm Troopers. Abbey and I love to play co-op games together and this game brings the two player action in fine form.

CD-Case Calendar Maker for X

Will have to check this out soon, could prove useful in coming years for grandparents and assorted other relatives.

Wonderland neighbors gearing up to fight Wal-Mart

Dead-mall expert Cactus Bob previously reported that the Target there was going to become a Greatland [think a Target the size of a Meijer, but without the round-the-clock hours or local flavor] in the next iteration of Wonderland, so I’m sure Target is thrilled about the possible arrival of Super Wal-Mart. But they may not need to assert a position — local Livonians are ready to take up arms against the Red [State] Menace.

For those who have not experienced it, the Middlebelt & Schoolcraft Wal-Mart is kind of run-down looking on the outside, though I cannot vouch for the inside, especially with a relatively new Meijer store and a well-maintained Costco across the street. I got my tires did at the Costco recently, it was a very pleasant experience.

All things are possible with Zombo the Union of Soverign Citizens

Daniel Lexington is a longtime favorite of people who keep track of the colorful people in Ann Arbor. I first happened upon his old website, gendex.net [long since offline], when I lived in A2 — it was primarily a promotional site for his prototype Java-based PDA. If you dug a little deeper, you started to find interesting stuff [a couple of his conspiracy theories are summarized here], as well as accusations toward the International Monetary Fund [or as he called them, "THEIMF"], apparently monitoring his activities through, you guessed it, downtown Ann Arbor taxis. The old site contained photographs of the actual cabs identifying them as agents.

I toyed with the idea of making fliers with the IMF logo from the Mission: Impossible movie website asking for information on him, and posting them downtown, but decided that could potentially be cruel to him and others he knew, and resolved simploy to blog about thinking about it, years later.
[licks pencil, crosses line off pad of paper]

Danny Partridge 2200 A.D.

The P-Boink profile of the precocious Partridge brat brings to mind the old 70s Saturday Morning cartoon formula of rehashing prime-time sitcoms in space or in another preposterous setting that could only be animated.

There was a Gilligan’s Island cartoon show where they were marooned on an uncharted planet. There was a Happy Days cartoon where Richie, Potsie, and Ralph wound up stuck in some teenage alien girl’s time machine. I think Fonzie was in there with them, while simultanously running the motor pool at the Army base where Laverne and Shirley were stationed on their own cartoon show. Yeah, Laverne and Shirley’s cartoon show was about them being in the Army. Click the link, I swear I’m not making this up.

The P’Boink writer suggests “Yes, Dear” would best be served as a cartoon series about fighting robots. Which makes me wonder…

If “Friends” had spun off a cartoon series: the gang would all be living on a space station with talking alien pets. Perhaps they would someday travel to the WNYX space station from that one season finale of NewsRadio.

If “Everybody Loves Raymond” were a cartoon series: Ray would be a decorated race driver/crime fighter with a mad tricked-out car. The Barone brats would be replaced by a hapless toddler and a precocious monkey — I mean, the other way around — no, I don’t. Ray would occasionally be defeated at the checkered flag by his sad-sack archrival, an off-duty New York cop known only as “Robert X,” but who, the announcer reminds us, is SECRETLY…

I will endeavor to update this as other ideas come to me.

Advertising is getting so shallow

Clearly the infamous Carl’s Jr. ad with Paris Hilton has created a ripple effect on other industries and fields, as even the beloved Michigan Reading Association is resorting to putting a bunch of lookers on the poster for next year’s conference.

Whoop de smurfing doo.

I feel like I should be more excited about a Smurfs movie, but I’m not. I guess there are a few dreadful things that come to mind when faced with this information:

  • The poster and trailer tagline: “GET SMURFED SUMMER 2008″
  • What it sounds and/or looks like when a smurf passes gas, because that’s the surefire laugh-getter in kids’ movies these days. Everyone from Scooby Doo to the various and sundry robots of Robots don’t know how to hold it and apparently never have the Silent-But-Deadly kind.
  • The merch, which will undoubtedly branch out far beyond the charming collectible figurines and into apparel, multimedia, and the regrettable return of Pepsi Blue.
  • The soundtrack: Smash Mouth singing “Goodness Makes the Badness Go Away.”

I am marginally more excited about the Transformers film, but I guess it depends on who plays Spike and if the Transformers cuss the way they did in the last movie: “Get smurfed, Megatron! You gonna have to kill my ass to get the Matrix of Leadership out!” At least, that’s what my older friend Eric said they said.

Friday: What Passes for Debauchery

It all started after work Friday, when the Sepatown Film Society convened in Ann Arbor for the Dirtbombs [wsg 25 Suaves and the Scars] at the Blind Pig. I might well have been screwed if I hadn’t coughed up for advance tix for Electric Six earlier this summer at same venue — line around the block, place totally packed, people turned away! — but I kept calling the Pig and they kept saying that I’d be fine at the door. So I compromised and went to the Eight Ball an hour before doors opened at the Pig and grabbed a hard ticket.

Then El Jefe and I went to get some dinner. We were both glad to be back in the old neighborhood [we all spent a lot of time in downtown Tree Town before the jobs moved us away]. And it was a particularly pleasant night for a walk. Still, we were hungry and thirsty. I’m not sure what possesses me to choose Arbor Brewing over Grizzly Peak every time, but I do.

Arbor Brewing, no joke, was out of half their beers! They’d had a tasting or something the night before, and all the old favorites, gone. Even the non-wheat ones. I had something with hints of raisins and black liquorice. I forget what, might’ve been a bitter. Not really a big Pale Ale guy, and it seems like that was all they had.

After dinner we headed back to the Pig and met up with Billion$ and staked [stook?] out our table near the door. We’re old men and we like to sit down [although I actually felt quite a bit younger once I saw the rest of the audience], though we hate paying cash. The Pig may look like a bar with all the beer signs all over the place, but you can’t start a tab.

Still not sure why the D’bombs didn’t pack the place like E6. They don’t really sound like each other, but I consider them both well-respected members of the imaginary DTW rock scene. On the other hand, the Six have a major-label deal. But it’s overseas and their second album still hasn’t dropped here [though it's easy enough to find if you want it]. But Jack White has sung with them and the nonsense sing-along “Gay Bar” was turned into a Bush-Blair parody, so all the kids who pay attention to Internets know them. Whereas the ‘bombs audience felt smaller and more… sophisticated, maybe? Yeah, I’ll take “older.”

The ‘bombs were awesome. Not sure how a band can take the same stage and sound so much better than two other bands — I don’t just mean musically, I mean Mick sang clearly enough to hear words and the guitars, drums, and bass were all well balanced and none overpowered the other. The board guy was ace. Ace.

Encore ended about 1:30am and we headed over to South U, where many still milled about despite it being July. El Jefe proposed a change of venue — I’d been pulling for Pancheros but we ultimately headed over to Pizza House, originator of many morning, noon, and nighttime orders in the dot com bubble days. With about two hours to go until they closed, bless them, we grabbed some appetizers and kibitzed further. Jeff got us back to W’oaktown about 3:30 and I was in bed by four. That’s a big deal for us old folks in the suburbs.

Cold as Ice

If you’re trying to figure out what the story is with the Aqua Teens’ Foreigner Belt, to whom can you turn>? Why, Foreigner Files dot com, of course.

This still doesn’t answer my “what’s that song I hear in the mall that samples ‘Urgent’” question, of course, but at least it settles one argument.