Because I’d trackback this piece as I offered my own views, henceforthwithal:
Despite being firmly ensconced in the midwest, I don’t like cheese. I try to avoid or subtract it whenever possible.
My two outstanding exceptions are on pizza [I’ve tried pizza with no cheese, and it’s just not right] and on Taco Bell tacos [it’s just not worth the trouble of asking them to leave it off].
I like the tangy, artificial taste of Kraft. If it tasted more “authentic” I probably wouldn’t like it so well. And I like the powdered version much better than the Kraft “Deluxe” mac-n-cheez with the sauce in the little can. It seems to me that the sauce takes on a bitter taste in the can.
I should note that T-Bell employees are much more accomodating than Wendy’s, where I have all but given up on making special orders, because even if they don’t put extra cheese on your burger, or if you order something like Chicken Nuggets which are impossible to screw up, they’ll forget your fries or give you the wrong drink. “Wendy’s: We Do it Dave’s Way, Not Yours. If You Don’t Like It, You Can Cram It.” Hey, Wendy! That’s a slogan you can have for free. You ditz.
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I would like to point out that the next closest K-Mart store to the one I recently covered in these pages is in Commerce Township [MI].
Its road sign is a perfectly preserved relic from the olden days before the whole “Super Kmart” and “BIG Kmart” dichotomy. A huge, red “K,” leaning to the right, with huge, red, lowercase “mart” letters below it. If you get nostalgic for nighttime road signs in the 80s… um… here’s your sign? No, that’s not your sign.
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Actually, if this were really a Tony Pierce entry he’d just
href="http://channels.netscape.com/ns/pf/bigpic.jsp?photoid=20040518WXS109">
drop this photo in here, aligned left or possibly right, and write
about how he was talking to a model at the bus stop and she said…
Anyway: united for justice.
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A
href="http://tvnz.co.nz/view/news_entertainment_story_skin/426809%3fformat=html">charming
article on his passing from a New Zealand TV site. I can’t really
sum sum it up better than he did. Well, okay, maybe I could.
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Today, when I saw this. Or perhaps it was yesterday, when I bought this for $10, along with oneathem Nintendo Know Your Roots T-shirts. Sadly, I currently own neither an NES nor an Atari, though I have two of the vintage first-generation Game Boys. You know, the old Game Boy carts really do work on the GBA. They’re ugly as sin, but they work.
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Some thoughts on the Prototype Kmart, M-59 @ Liz Lake Rd., White Lake Township [MI]:
I like the modified Kmart logo. It’s the “big K,” but the straight part is grey and the arms of the K form a green arrow over it, and the cursive “mart” is smaller and inside the green part. Did that make any sense? This logo supersedes the red K on all permanent signage, in some cases literally pasted over the red K on elements shared with other Kmart stores. A black and white version [black K, white “mart”] appears on the register receipt. Exceptions: temporary [i.e. weekly sale] signage and fliers, on the soap dispensers in the bathroom, and on price tags for individual items [it would probably not be cost effective to print green price tags for one location]. The checkout clerks were wearing green vests, other store employees were not, though I believe I saw the Entertainment clerk wearing grey.
There is a big aisle in front of the entrance with featured items in it, presumably to grab your attention as you come in the door. The rest of the store radiates out from there. [The photo in the linked article is of the southwest corner of the store, facing west.] The inner walls of the store were lined with cute slogans you would imagine people saying in Kmart TV ads while an instrumental loop of Nico’s “These Days” plays:
- “Parenthood would be fabulous if it weren’t for the damned kids.”
- “Don’t cry over spilt milk, paper towels are cheap.”
- “Why wait out the headache? Self-medicate.”
- “Feet grow — shoes don’t.”
- “Lowe’s is for sissies. Your Dad bought his lightbulbs here.”
Some of those are the actual slogans on the walls and some I made up. Take a guess.
I bought a Jabra cellphone headset — you know, the in-your-ear kind with the brightly shaped gels that mold to your ear — for $2.00 on clearance. It’s the kind with the mike on the cord. They also had the EarBoom [mike on a little stick], but it’s only marked down to $20, which is barely a clearance price at all. I also bought lightbulbs for my car tail lights [actually, my dad would’ve gone to Murray’s for those, but auto parts places intimidate me the way computer stores intimidate normal people]. So here’s $4 toward the Save K-Mart fund.
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Coverage of the murder accusations against Huntington Woods resident Mark Unger fail to mention his occupation. If he is the longtime Detroit-area sportscaster, it is unfortunate — we, by which I mean my dad and my brothers and I, used to enjoy his “Sportscene” segments on 105.9 before it started to JAMMM. [Yeah, it was the smoooth jazz station. Shut up. SHUT UP.]
Mark Unger’s profile page on an area sports journalists’ association site, which I’d rather not link to here out of respect for what little privacy an accused but not found guilty man has, lists a Royal Oak phone number. Royal Oak is right next to Huntington Woods, so my feeling is “maybe it is him.” =(
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Men’s Health makes with the consumer advice.
I suppose it goes without saying, but Planters Nut Poppers did not make the list. I tried the Original flavor once as part of my effort to bring really scary-sounding snack foods into the office. Once I brought a bag of Soy Nuts in, and some wiseguy wrote a “B” over the “S” in Soy. Get it? So I saw the Planters Nut Poppers and figured they were pretty much graffiti-proof. What are you going to add to make a name like Nut Poppers funnier?
Anyway, they sort of reminded me of Nutter Butter cookies, if the cookies were really, really salty. This poor guy tried Original and Cheddar and wrote an article about it.
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Tonight is Jerry Orbach’s final appearance on Law & Order: Original
Recipe. There is talk of him heading up a new cast on another spinoff
called “Law & Order: Throw the Book at ‘Em” or “Law & Order 3: Super
Mario Brothers 4” or something. Ebert’s paper was kind enough to provide
its readers with a Best of
The Wisecracks roundup and the news that Dennis Farina will star next
season. This is not Farina’s first time
href="http://epguides.com/CrimeStory/">behind the badge. I wouldn’t
worry about L&O’s continued longevity unless they adopt Crime Story’s
zippy Del Shannon theme music too. Cha-chunk.
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Random notes on Tony Randall’s passing:
- Gary bursting into Howard’s studio at 10:20 with “breaking news: Tony Randall dead at 84,” Fred hitting the “A HOWARD STERN EXCLUSIVE” soundclip, and Artie saying “Who’d have thought Felix would outlive Oscar?” He soon clarified himself. I had thought I’d heard recently that Jack Klugman had passed on, but I sure can’t find anything on Google to back that up.
- The head-scratching new video from the Beasties ends with an explosion and some kind of shoutout to… Tony Randall. This, I believe, is coincidence. Apparently the video has been on Launch for about two weeks, though it premiered on iTunes today.
If you liked that Jack Klugman page and need something dumb to take your mind off of all this, there’s a bunch of other malarkey there too.
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